Monday, November 12 2012 @ 12:00 AM MST
A hilarious take on "children's entertainment", and where humor writers go to hide, from a new contributor. Humor Editor
Wacky Willy’s, by Candice Carnes
Wacky Willy’s restaurant caters to small children and specializes in developing vices that will someday grow into full blown addictions and dysfunction. For the bargain price of a second mortgage on their parents’ house, kids can indulge in: gambling, rough-housing, excessive spending, fighting, whining, cheating, and stealing, all while hopped up on legal stimulants such as cake and caffeinated sodas.
Monday, August 13 2012 @ 12:00 AM MST
A lovely story of an innocent child and a recalcitrant cat. Fiction Editor
Dratted Cat, by KJ Hannah Greenberg
Dratted cat! Stupid pussy snoo! Bad, bat kitty. Come back.
Monday, June 25 2012 @ 12:00 AM MST
Enjoy this story of diapers, real estate and the importance of keeping a clean home. Humor Editor
Home Truths, by Jeff Gardiner
Alan lifted up his thirteen-month-old daughter and sniffed her bottom.
Monday, June 11 2012 @ 12:00 AM MST
A comedic story about children, growing up and fire. Humor Editor
The Great Chessini, by Sej Harman
He leaned through the swinging door into the dining room, where we’d just spread out our books and papers on the scarred and dull table, and whispered conspiratorially, “Come on in the kitchen. I’ve got something to show you. But you gotta be quiet and you can’t tell. Not anybody. You’ll laugh your asses off, ladies. You just gotta see this.” And grinning, he let the door swoosh shut.
Friday, April 13 2012 @ 12:00 AM MST
This piece was written several years ago, but, as with all IRS-related humor, it still holds up. We thank the author for allowing us to reprint it here in honor of the Internal Revenue Service's Annual Mid-Year Christmas Party. Humor Editor
Tax Day! Or What Will Uncle Sam Send Me THIS Year?, by Jeanne Cook
There is one thing that unites us all -- men, women, children, animals, celebrities and most corporations -- we all have to pay taxes and none of us really want to.
Monday, March 26 2012 @ 12:00 AM MST
How to figure out how much living space you really have, by one of our regular contributors. Humor Editor
Kinross Lane, by Richard Hartwell
I live in a house on Kinross Lane. Pleasant sounding, as if it invites you to stop and chat on the front porch, which it doesn’t have, or to visit over a picket fence, which it also doesn’t have.
Tuesday, January 31 2012 @ 12:00 AM MST
Another cute story about the wisdom of little children from one of our regular contributors. Humor Editor
No Cause to Remain, by KJ Hannah Greenberg
Siegfried’s mum had not yet picked him up. Mrs. Tharasus bit her lip. Of all of the children in her care, Siegfried was the most likely to squeal, to cry, or to otherwise emphatically telegraph just how displeased he was with a situation. Yet, for reasons beyond the teacher’s ken, that child sat, soldier still, watching the daycare’s doorway.
Monday, January 09 2012 @ 12:00 AM MST
Enjoy this story of family, frustration and laundry. Humor Editor
Hunting for Red, by Frelisa Walker
Yesterday, I gave Drew, my son, the money to buy mosquito repellent to spray my mother’s yard for our family reunion. He bought it, but he forgot to bring it for our visit. At the beginning of the dinner, Uncle Mark and Aunt Raven smacked themselves and asked for the repellent. I didn’t want them ridiculing him. So, I said to them, “There’s no need for it.” Even though, I had shorts on and bite marks covered my legs.
Monday, December 19 2011 @ 12:00 AM MST
Enjoy this delightful tale of a boy, a fish bone and Christmas! Fiction Editor
The Fish Bone, by Lucie Winborne
He had never expected to miss Christmas this year.
Monday, November 21 2011 @ 12:00 AM MST
A short and sweet one about the spoils of war from one of our favorite contributors. Humor Editor
Tournament, by KJ Hannah Greenberg
The second annual Bobby Fischer Memorial Chess Tournament was held in Parkway Middle School’s lunch room. All nine members of Parkway’s chess club were in attendance. Seven of them rooted for my opponent.
Monday, October 10 2011 @ 12:00 AM MST
A cute children's story from a new contributor with a funny, but still important, lesson for all -- don't judge a bug by it's manners. Humor Editor
The No So Ladylike Ladybug, by Allyn Stotz
“Look at me. I reached the top of the fence,” yelled Grasshopper.
“Burrr—ppp.” Ladybug belched.
Monday, April 04 2011 @ 12:00 AM MST
A new piece from one of our regular contributors dealing with the age-old controvery, rather definitively. Humor Editor
Nature or Nurture, by Heather Gregson
Nature versus nurture has been debated for years. Are we, as people, what we were born to be, or are we what we were raised to be? I have no idea and this isn’t delving into that debate. Instead this is about something truly perplexing: Are our dogs what they were born to be, or what they were raised to be? Specifically my cocker mix, Belle.
Monday, March 21 2011 @ 12:00 AM MST
A new piece about death and dying from one of our favorite contributors. We hope you find it as helpful as we did. Humor Editor
Nine Things I've Learned from the Obits, by Steve Barber
If you're as old as I am, you probably spend as much time as I do reading the obituary section of your local paper. For us older folks it's kind of like prepping for an exam. Besides, we're often pleased to find people in there we thought would never die.
Monday, January 17 2011 @ 12:00 AM MST
A reflection on a lack of love for one's past. Hopefully your hometown fares better. Humor Editor
My Hometown, by Jeanne Cook
My hometown sounds cool but isn’t. It’s a beach city. Cool, right? And it’s the county seat…for an agricultural county. So, you can surf in the morning and shovel cow poop, spread manure, or pick fruit all the rest of the day. Super.
Monday, November 29 2010 @ 12:00 AM MST
As we head into the Christmas season, a little ditty for all our contributors. Originally published in the Absolute Write newsletter. Humor Editor
With Apologies to Eartha Kitt, by Jeanne Cook
Santa Baby, just put an agent under my tree,
Been an awful good girl.
Santa Baby, and hurry up that contract tonight.
Monday, November 15 2010 @ 12:00 AM MST
A whimsical spin on a boy and his dog, from a regular contributor. Humor Editor
Gull Power by Jeff Gardiner
Ray was woken up early one morning by curious but persistent, high-pitched squeals. At first he wondered if the central heating was playing up again, but then realised with a frown it could only really be one thing. Still naked, he leapt out of bed and dashed across the landing to the larger bedroom now converted into his workshop. Just as he thought - specimen 6/37G had hatched.
Monday, November 01 2010 @ 12:00 AM MST
A sly, sweet story of sibling rivalry from a new contributor. Fiction Editor
My Cross-Eyed Bear, by Sej Harman
Billy was there, hiding behind the door. I could see him through the crack, holding his breath, trying not to giggle. Ready to jump out with a yell. Itching to scare the crap out of me. Just to see me jump one more time. And, no matter how steeled I am against the attack, it always works. I jump.
Wednesday, September 01 2010 @ 12:00 AM MST
A new take on the afterlife and the All-Mighty from a new contributor. Both funny and thought-provoking, we hope you enjoy it as much as we did. Humor Editor
Strife After Death, by Jeff Gardiner
Al was glad to be dead.
His life was going nowhere with his mid-life depression turning to feelings of futility. Not that he’d contemplated suicide - he remained too much of a coward – but once he’d realised the car was going to hit the tree and no passengers or others were going to suffer, he’d lifted his hands off the steering wheel and taken a deep breath.
Friday, February 26 2010 @ 12:00 AM MST
A humor piece from a new contributor about one of the editorial staff's favorite things. Beware the wild turkeys, cats and humans alike! Humor Editor
Kitty's Gone Wild, by Lisa Dovichi
What in the world was Newton doing? I watched my white, long-haired cat slink through the tall grass outside my window. I work from home and basically that means I’m obligated to spend a lot of time looking out the window at the hill beside my house. However it hadn’t been my cat that originally caught my attention -- it had been the gobbling of wild turkeys that had made me look up. It was while I was watching at least twenty humongous turkeys strut around that I noticed Newton.
Friday, January 22 2010 @ 12:00 AM MST
A meditation on the fragile emotions of pets, originally published at FLYMF.com, and now published here. Because we can. Humor Editor
Pet Psyches, by Jeanne Cook
If a person’s pets tell outsiders about them, I shudder to think what that says about my family.
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